Gassy ice-cold pints only help cause climate change – and taste horrible

Posted by Trinity Mirror Cheshire on July 26, 2007 8:38 AM

GORDON Pugh spent 19 minutes swimming in Arctic waters to draw attention to global warming.
Quite a feat, but I too have been undergoing extreme activities which will hopefully have the same effect.
Firstly, I entered a trendy pub somewhere in the North West – it doesn’t matter which one, they’re all the same – ordered and drank a pint of bitter, a beer such places now keep at near zero temperatures.
I did this despite the fact it is horrible.

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Men are succinct with tales, but women tell the never-ending story

Posted by liam on July 19, 2007 8:41 AM

SCIENTISTS in Arizona reckon they have proved that men are just as chatty as women.

They bugged some of each and counted the words and the totals were not far apart.

But I don’t believe it. Stereotypes don’t become stereotypes for nothing.

Perhaps the sons of Wyatt Earp and the Clanton gang get together nowadays for a chinwag at the OK Coral. In Tombstone, the town that was ‘too tough to die’, the menfolk like nothing better than to hang up their sixshooters and have a damn good natter.

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Realising there are ‘maffs’ squares who should eat some humble Pi

Posted by liam on July 11, 2007 1:00 PM

EVERY year there seems to be a report that1 university students struggle with written English.

Now it is suggested they have not even mastered basic maffs.

This does not surprise me, because I was among the trendsetting generation, who decided maffs was crap and, beyond being able to work out the cost of a yankee in Joe Coral’s, of little value whatsoever.

I mean, isosceles rectangles. Who cares?

Pi? That’s 22 over seven to you, that we used to find the area of a circle, like there was ever going to be a time when I’d need to find the area of a circle. It’s not as if I was ever going to carpet the clock, is it?

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Masterminds criminal exposes gear reverse

Posted by liam on July 4, 2007 12:44 PM

ACCORDING to researchers, criminals who are not telling the truth will give themselves away if police ask them to tell their story backwards.

Body language, hesitation and slight contradictions – all the little tell-tale signs – are out.
A well rehearsed false alibi is easy to stick to and the police, easy to fool.

But put it all in reverse and it starts to come apart.

Phrased another way, police should ask criminals to backwards tell their stories the lying they will be able to tell.

See, it must be true.

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