IS the Government decision to write to the parents of overweight children right? Has it been thought through properly?
However sensitive they may be, whatever they say, the meaning will be crystal clear:

Dear Mrs and Mrs Norrington,

As you are no doubt aware, the Government has been terribly worried for some time about the growing problem of obesity and its effect on the long-term health of the nation.
No doubt you have read all about it in the Press and find the prospect of half the adult population of Great Britain being grossly overweight by the year 2050 as frightening as we do.
We are taking active steps to reverse the trend and I feel sure you are responsible citizens and caring parents who appreciate that only direct remedial action and blunt speaking can correct the situation. So, not to put too fine a point on things, your son, Chippy, has been officially diagnosed as overweight.
How do we know Chippy is a fatty? Chippy’s teacher, Miss Spriggins, was concerned and contacted our department.
She reported Chippy would be eating crisps as you dropped him off at the school gates and needed to rest when he reached the classroom, where he would remain lifeless in a sack of potatoes sort of way for most of the day. He would scoff a Mars bar and cold-buttered toast at morning playtime and his lunch was a picnic basket of junk food even Yogi Bear would not steal.
Also, Miss Spriggins reports his trousers have split across the bottom twice this week.
What happens next? We believe Chippy would benefit from attending the clinic at the Languid and Rotund Diagnostic and Reaction Specialist Establishment (LARDA***) and follow a specially prepared diet and fitness programme and they will be in touch shortly, as will your local Six A Day Adviser. He is a Senior Health Department officer who can advise you to feed Chippy six portions of fruit and vegetables a day and be able to answer questions you may have.
Yours sincerely,
N Parker,
Department of Health

Dear N Parker,
Thank you from bringing Chippy’s condition to our attention. We have been lax, but special diets and fitness programmes? He’s 10 for heaven’s sake.
We have decided he should simply eat less and run around more, which is what we did at his age and suggest you shove your six a day officer up your Languid and Rotund Diagnostic and Reaction Specialist Establishment.
Yours sincerely,
C Norrington Snr

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